Mission to Ruritania

Crew:

Our short term contract with the Grand Duchy ends this week, but not to worry!  Captain XO has ensured that our coffers will remain full and bars fully stocked with a new mission.

Ruritania is a small Balkans country; it's maintained its independence for an astonishingly long time, despite being where Bismarck identified as ground zero for the next European war.  It's been remarkably stable...until recently.

Ruritania recently had a succession crisis; a dynastic rivalry led to the kidnapping of the Crown Prince and his imprisonment.  However, senior statesmen and military officials intervened, and in cunning scheme worth of Captain XO himself, they found a doppelganger to stand in for the Crown Prince until the actual Crown Prince could be rescued.

The doppelganger served his role admirably, and was personally involved in rescuing the future King.  The coronation took place, the rightful King on his throne.  Happy ending...with one tiny wrinkle.

What is our role?  The doppelganger is still in hiding.  He and his compatriots are worried that it could be severely destabilizing to the monarchy if any hint of his involvement got out.  We've been contracted to smuggle him out.  Our own dubious reputation camouflages his movement.  OF COURSE THE RENEGADE IS RAIDING SOMETHING.

The plan...well, we raid something.  He's currently being put up at a royal hunting lodge (by hunting lodge, I mean a small estate).  We assault and loot.  Ground force brings a spare uniform with them, he changes into it, and we leave with a +1.

None are the wiser.  Ruritania stays stable, we make some allies, and we get paid.

Tesla Cannon Settings

Tesla Gunners:

After the incidents recently with misapplied Tesla gun settings (we're not blaming you entirely, forward belly turret), we have instituted a new, pictorial settings system to help you.  Settings go from light bulb to Godzilla.  There is a toggle from air to ground to air to air.  Please update training protocols as required.

US Thanksgiving on the Renegade

Crew! Does not Captain XO love each and everyone of you?  Even the ones who are fascinated with eating the interns (for the love of Odin-Jesus, WHY?)

Right now, the Ground Crew is loading up the Kommandant's Zeppelin (remember?  We seized in a vicious boarding action) at Wick.  They will rendezvous with us over the plains of the Grand Duchy, where we will extend the air gangplanks so that they may join us for a Thanksgiving meal.  We'll have to eat in shifts, as we are still on patrol duties.

After our meal, the Ground Crew will return to Wick.  They are under strict orders to put up no Christmas/Yule decorations until AFTER the 1st.

We are on station through 1 December.

Tomorrow, we will raise a glass of wine together and toast our good fortune, our good comrades, and our good ship, the Airship Renegade.

Border Mission in the Grand Duchy of Warsaw!

We have accepted a two week contract to patrol along the border between the Grand Duchy of Warsaw and Konigsberg/Kaliningrad.  The Muscovites, still pretending that they are a Serious European Power, keep moving troops in and out of the port, trying to apply pressure to the Grand Duchy of Warsaw.

Our role is to provide persistent surveillance and deterrence.  The Muscovites have initiated some minor border 'misunderstandings;' the Grand Duke intends that our presence will convince the Muscovites that they really don't want to raise the tensions anymore.

Some concerns: the Muscovites do have a pretty decent legacy air defense system in Kaliningrad, with an integrated radar network with significant coverage into the Grand Duchy.  We'll be in range of multiple S-300SP SAM sites throughout most of our time.

There are unconfirmed rumors that the Muscovites are working on a War Zeppelin, in direct response to our success as a commerce raider.

Weekend Safety Brief

Crew!  Brave Air Pirates!

Crew, it's been a long Halloween trip, several parties in a row, culminating in Halloween night in Romania.

Then we robbed a casino.

So it's been a hectic few weeks.  We need a break.  So everyone is on liberty until Tuesday, when we begin a training/refit series before we travel to the Grand Duchy of Warsaw for contract.

But before we break, a few words:

Captain XO loves each and every one of you.  That means each and every one of you needs to survive until Tuesday.  No dueling.  No brawling.  No catching the clap.  No drinking absinthe until the green fairies cart you off and leave you naked in a ring of standing stones.  No practicing your fast draw with your buddies.  If you go to town, do not get in a fight with the locals.  If you do, you had best win.

Legal Mates...you know the drill.  One on standby with bail money.  Set up a rotation amongst yourselves.

Chief, anything to add?

To caveat of the Sir, it would behoof you to listen to the Captain.  He's been doing this for a while and gets it.  NCO call immediately after this formation.

New Crew Orientation

(Captain XO gathers the newest crew members on the mess deck)

Please take your seats.  Allow me to congratulate you on joining the crew of the Renegade and the beginning of your career of air piracy.  Air piracy is a growth industry, with plenty of opportunities for growth and promotion.  HR should have already informed you about our health, dental, vision, and retirement plans, and I am pleased to say that your average crew member does live until retirement.

Some of you have been recruited for special skills, for which you will be paid a recruitment bonus.  Others...well, we'll rotate you through a few positions to see where you best fit.

Your first line supervisors will meet you here when I am done with you; they will provide you a copy of the Ship's Articles, which are a combination of a compact amongst the crew and a series of regulations under which we operate.  First and foremost is article 1: Crew is family.  Your Supervisor will be responsible for ensuring you are educated on and understand the Articles.  Once you feel that you understand the Articles and agree to abide by them, you'll sign them.  That's the contract between you and your crew-family.

Punishments for failure to abide by the Ship's Articles are outlined in the Articles.  Air keelhauling is particularly unpleasant.

Listen to your leadership, abide by the Ship's Articles, train hard, fight hard, and look good and have fun doing it.

My door is always open.  Supervisors, take charge of your new crew.

The Damsel in Distress

by Derrick Perkins 

“Any minute now,” Thaddeus de Curieux said, glancing at his watch as the sun lazily slipped beneath the bay of Xlendi.

Across the hightop table, Joe Miller sighed as his Kinnie grew warm.

“Any minute until what?”

“Until contact, of course,” de Curieux said. “It was in the informational packet I gave you before we arrived. Don’t tell me you haven’t read it?”

Miller sighed again, louder this time. The two men had been sitting in the seaside bar of one of Xlendi’s seedier hotels for more than an hour now. They had been awake and moving or much of the previous twenty four. The sole entertainment consisted of watching a tourist couple from the States get slowly drunk a few tables away. They had reached the stage of noisily arguing about whether to tour a local winery tomorrow or go diving in the Mediterranean.

“Don’t make that sound again, friend,” de Curieux said, sipping on a gin and tonic. “It is unbefitting our present circumstances.”

“I thought you said we shouldn’t drink,” Miller said.

“I said you shouldn’t drink; now enjoy that Kinnie. This is your first excursion and it’s important to remain clear headed. You will have time to sample the local wine at tonight’s soiree.”

Miller straightened up in surprise. He was clad only in the faded trousers and black work shirt he had been wearing when de Curieux handed him a bulging manila envelope and hustled him off the ship the night before. The other man was dressed a bit more dapper--pressed pants, a breast-pocketed shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a Brooks Brothers tie--but neither of them were wearing the formal attire issued to the ship’s crew for such occasions.

“A soiree?”

“Certainly. We wouldn’t want to miss out on the local festival of Our Lady of Mount Caramel, would we,” de Curieux said. “It is vital to our mission. And quite fun, I am made to understand.”

“But I’m not, you’re not dressed for it…”

“Details. Details already accounted for.”

“I didn’t have time to pack--”

“--Ah, yes, right on time,” de Curieux said, getting up from his seat. Miller followed his gaze across the dimly lit bar to the entrance leading back into the hotel lobby. The door cracked open and in slipped a small, slender woman. Bathed in the sepia light of sunset, she flitted across the floor toward the pair, her feet seemingly never touching the ground.

“Demoiselle,” de Curieux said, taking her hand. “I would bow, but it would be…

“Noticeable,” she replied with a thin smile. “I thank you for your discretion and will let my lady know of your gentlemanly intent.”

“Assure her it would be a deep bow.”

“I would expect no less. She would expect no less.”

“My reputation precedes me?” de Curieux asked.

“As always, within some circles. There has been much talk about Aachen affair.”

“The prince-abbot is a bit more severe than I had been led to believe.”

“And yet you …”

“I did,” de Curieux said. “I assure you, it was mutually agreeable.”

“Of course. But he threatened to …

“He did not succeed,” de Curieux said with a smile.

“Well,” the woman said. “I know there are at least two hearts in Malta that will grow happy to hear that news. But to business.”

“Your words flatter me, but, yes, to business,” de Curieux said. “Our arrangements?”

“You will go to the cafe on Triq Il Qsajjem. Order two tonics--no gin. The bartender will know. A car then will be waiting to take you to the old chapel.”

“The guest list?”

“Your name has been provided. Your real name, as you requested. I do hope you know what you are doing.”

“Simple honesty can be more useful than the sharpest deceit, my dear,” de Curieux said.

“And your associate?”

“Col. de Curieux of The Renegade, Professor Emeritus of Classics of Miskatonic University, Honorary Knight of St. George, Chevalier of the Order of St. John … and guest,” he replied.

“As you please. The rest will be in your hands. My lady wishes to know nothing else about this matter until it is concluded.”

“And I wish to tell her no lies,” de Curieux said.

Miller stared at them as they released hands and the woman slid out of the room, his drink forgotten.

“What just happened?” he asked, finally.

“Not now, Mr. Miller. The game is begun and, like gentleman, by putting our names on that list we have conceded the first move to our adversaries.”

Miller tugged at the neck of the blue form-fitting and heavily tasseled uniform in the backseat of the Mercedes. Although official dress issued aboard The Renegade, it was most certainly not given to anyone outside of the Bold Hussars. If a photograph of him in it appeared online, buying the entire company a round of drinks would be the least awful punishment he could think of.

By contrast, de Curieux now sported a three-piece suit complete with a waistcoat. There was only a single piece of martial flair added, a small pin featuring a dagger-like cross emblazoned with the midday sun on the right breast. Miller could not offhandedly recall it coming from any of the world’s standing militaries.

The two of them had changed in the restrooms of the cafe just minutes before, their tonics left untouched on the counter of the bar. Inside the cramped lavatory, Miller had found two neatly wrapped packages, one labelled for de Curieux and the other hastily scrawled with “And Guest.” Not for the first time, Miller had wondered what he was doing on this trip.

Less than a day ago he had been wrapping up his shift in the bowels of The Renegade. Although he had pictured himself piloting one of the parasite fighters or leaping down with the hussars when he joined the crew, Miller found himself training on the engine. It didn’t take long to fall in love inside the belly of the beast. When she shuddered to life, his heart skipped a beat, and when a mission ended it was he and his mates who patched her back up.

Their devotion to the inner workings meant they elicited respect from even the pilots, who--if inebriated enough--begrudgingly admitted that they would be out of a job without the mechanics. All the same, it was more than a little strange to find the military attache waiting impatiently by his door when he arrived back at his cabin.

De Curieux was an odd duck even on The Renegade. The man seemingly answered to no one beside Captain XO and even then it was rare to see the two of them together. Unlike the rest of the crew, de Curieux came and went with impunity. Miller spotted him more often in blurry photographs that filled the back pages of British tabloids than in any of the ship’s after action reports.

He spoke with a practiced authority and overran even the most pragmatic of oppositions with an icy stare. When a flabbergasted Miller tried to explain he was just a mechanic’s apprentice and on duty the next day and definitely out of leave after the Iceland trip, de Curieux produced new orders--signed by Captain XO. Stunned into silence, Miller did as he was told, cramming a few things into an overnight bag and falling in with the mysterious military attache.

Now he had a chance to ask a few questions, although admittedly it was difficult to divert attention away from the festivities going on all around them. Throngs of people wandered through the narrow streets as fireworks boomed overhead. It truly was quite fun, the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Caramel.

“Why you, I imagine.”

“What?” asked Miller, snapping away from the rolling party carrying on beyond the tinted windows.

“A simple mechanic’s apprentice, part of the crew only a few weeks now, barely got your air legs beneath you,” de Curieux said. “Now you’re in Malta, wearing a rather ill-fitting hussar uniform--I’ll have to speak to the tailor about that shipboard--and about to waltz into a soiree being thrown by one of the richest magnates in Bulgaria. Why you? It’s a question I would ask myself.”

“Well, why me?” Miller stammered.

“You tell me,” de Curieux replied with an eye roll. “It’s clear you did not read the packet I supplied you with so you have no idea of our cover story. Undoubtedly, you will be asked why you are attending the evening’s festivities. The Renegade, after all, is well away from this place.”

Miller sat, mouth agape.

“Wrong answer,” de Curieux said. “Try again.”

“I … um … am completing a regular rotation as a member of the hussars’ protective service unit and am providing that. Security, that is. For you. To you? No, for you.”

De Curieux regarded him for a moment.

“Passable. Pedestrian, but passable,” he said.

Miller let out the breath he forgot he had been holding.

“Not nearly as … interesting as the one I had written for you, but no matter. There’s no time to memorize the entire thing.”

“Right,” Miller said.

“You will also, though, want to include that you arranged this rotation in the hopes of wooing the magnate’s daughter--her name is Analyia Zlatkov and her father is Toma Zlatkov, you want to remember that--as you fell madly in love with her upon seeing her at a function in Moscow last winter.”

“You’re kidding,” Miller said.

“I am not. It’s very important. I may have let that tidbit slip to a few friends who will be in attendance. To spice things up.”

“Then you’re insane.”

“Possibly, but not likely,” de Curieux said. “What is her name?”

“Analyia,” Miller said. “But, seriously, why in the hell--”

“--And her father’s name?” de Curieux asked. “To stir a bit of gossip and create a scene if necessary. She is already engaged to a man she does not love--this is widely known--the third-born son of a Russian arms dealer.”

“Her father’s name is Toma,” Miller said. “How does any of this help us? And I don’t even know what we’re doing here anyway.”

“Obviously, it’s a case of a damsel in distress,” de Curieux said. “If you cause a scene, I can slip away. That saber by your side is not merely ornamental.”

“Not ornamental, but what would I use it for? Opening a champagne bottle?” Miller asked.

De Curieux waited until his eyes widened with understanding.

“What is their nationality?” he asked. “You can always challenge him to a duel, for which he will be ill-prepared, comparatively. I read in your file that you participated in the fencing club at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. You distinguished yourself. Might explain a few grades.”

“Bulgarian, and the fiance is Russian, and you read my file? I have a file? What does all this even accomplish?”

“Yes, I’ve read everyone’s file,” de Curieux said. “A distraction may be needed in order for me to accomplish my end of the mission.”

“Which is? I’d like to know what I’m getting cut up for.”

“To rescue the demoiselle en detresse and bring her safely back to The Renegade. The Captain XO has a vested interest in securing her,” de Curieux said. “Even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

“I don’t see how any of this works.”

“And I don’t tell you how to repair a catalytic converter,” de Curieux said.

Silence reigned over them for a moment.

“Does Captain XO even know about this?” Miller asked.

De Curieux gave him an odd smile.



The cathedral the car pulled up alongside looked unlike any church Miller had ever seen. It didn’t look like a holy site in any way. It didn’t look like much at all, even. Just a barren, windswept cliffside. Probably a very pretty view in the daylight, Miller thought.

“St. Domenica Chapel,” de Curieux said as the car came to a halt. “Built in the cliffs and profaned several hundred years ago. No doubt the challenge facing parishioners seeking absolution played some role in its closing.”

“No doubt,” Miller muttered. He was busy looking at the array of luxury vehicles parked seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Music wafted up from the honeycombed limestone.

Dutifully, Miller followed de Curieux out of the car and then down a long path that descended ever deeply into the cliffside. Torches illuminated the way haphazardly and Miller felt the saber at his side clatter more than once against the rock. De Curieux navigated the centuries old walkway effortlessly as if he had spent his childhood playing there. Finally, they arrived at an ornately decorated stone archway where a steward waited to announce their arrival.

“Col. Thaddeus de Curieux …” the man began after accepting de Curieux’s engraved invitation.

“... And guest,” he concluded after finishing rattling off de Curieux’s honorifics. Miller bit back a resigned sigh.

As his eyes adjusted to the vastly better illuminated interior, Miller noticed more than a few heads turn. But they were immediately swallowed up by the swirling array of wealth and power.

Miller did his best to stand stiffly at attention, as he had seen hussars do on formal occasions, as pairs in immaculate attire waltzed breezily around him. Several hundred people filled the former parish, including the orchestra. A banquet table overflowing with finger foods of all varieties lined one wall, plush seats intended for resting courtiers lined the far side. Those not dancing made small talk, clinking glasses and laughing uproariously. It reminded Miller very much of the events he had attended when he worked for a Cambridge-based catering company in college. Just on overdrive. How he wished he was back in the ship, working on a camshaft instead.

De Curieux fit in seamlessly. He seemed to vanish and then reappear, clasping arms with one man, kissing the hand of a woman. He knew them all by name or reputation, Miller realized. He took a sip of his champagne. And then another. Oh well, he thought, and drained it. A steward appeared to hand him another and then disappeared.

“Lieutenant Miller,” de Curieux called. Miller turned and saw the other man waving him over. Here we go, he thought.

De Curieux was flanked by a young hawkish-looking man, pale and stern in features as well as an older, even more severe appearing gentleman. He tried his best to act the part of a hussar and puffed out his chest.

“Toma Zlatkov and Iosif Blok, please meet my traveling companion, Lieutenant Miller of the Bold Air Hussars.”

The men bowed and Miller did his best to follow suit. At least the movement hid his nerves. A Bulgarian magnate and Russian arms dealer. De Curieux acted as if they were old friends and not tonight’s targets. The two men seemed to watch him intently. He swore the old man’s eyes narrowed. He felt very much exposed.

“So nice of you to attend, colonel,” Toma said with just a touch of an eastern accent. “Very bold as well. I understand several major powers consider you persona non grata, particularly after The Renegade’s recent successes.”

“We do tend to make a splash,” de Curieux offered with a smile.

“But Malta is safe for you?”

“The entire world is open to a gentleman of learning and in possession of the proper credentials,” de Curieux said.

“I believe there are a few high-ranking ministers in Moscow who would disagree,” Toma replied with a chuckle. “This isn’t 18th century Europe, after all. But regardless, it is good to have a few pirates in attendance. My apologies, privateers. And I am not well educated on international zeppelin policy nor the vagaries of air piracy.”

“It’s an acquired taste,” de Curieux said.

Everyone laughed except for Miller, who could feel the hand resting on his saber’s hilt growing clammy with sweat. Please, please, please, do not require a scene, he prayed.

He barely listened as the men continued to prattle. It was mostly pleasantries about the locale, which Miller had to admit was stunning. Through slits expertly carved into the rockwall, they could look out onto the wine dark Mediterranean, empty but for a few massive pleasure yachts. A stunning view to die in front of, Miller thought.

“Lieutenant,” the Russian said suddenly breaking Miller from his morbid train of thought. “What brings you to tonight’s festivities? An old rake like the colonel, we expect, but he usually travels alone.”

“Security detail,” Miller said automatically. He had been repeating the answer in his mind for a while now. “As an air hussar, it is my honorbound duty to protect The Renegade’s senior staff.”

Iosif chuckled darkly. He offered Miller a cruel smile.

“Even so, I am quite confident an expert blade like Colonel de Curieux can take care of himself--”

His sentence trailed off as a lithe, dark-haired beauty wrapped an arm around his waist. A smile as radiant as the setting sun just a few hours ago lit up her face.

“My darling Iosef,” she said. “You did not tell me the colonel was in attendance this evening.”

“My lady,” de Curieux said.

“It’s been too long,” she said. “And who might this be?”

De Curieux shot Miller a look. He tried not to break character.

“Lieutenant Miller of the Bold Air Hussars,” he said, bending a knee and dipping his head. He had had just about enough bowing for one night.

“A dashing young air officer, how nice,” she purred. “Yet you look so familiar, have we been introduced before?”

“I … uh,” Miller stammered, his collar feeling suddenly very tight around his neck. Her looks did not help matters. This was the damsel in distress?

“He joined me at a little matter in Moscow last year you may have attended,” de Curieux interrupted. “It’s hard to recall exactly. My schedule has become quite cluttered.”

“Ah, yes,” she said and nodded. “Something to do with a coal-powered aircraft carrier. Did we dance, Lieutenant?”

“I do not think so--”

“--Then we must at once,” she said, still smiling. It took Miller’s breath away. “I cannot pass up the opportunity with such a handsome specimen.”

“Analyia, perhaps this is not…”

She pouted, somehow an act as beautiful as her smile. Even with the playful frown her dark eyes danced. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all, Miller thought.

“Iosef, it is only a dance. You can watch me the entire time,” she huffed.

“Appearances, my darling daughter,” Toma began, but Analyia waved him away.

“I am not a child, father,” she said. “I have sworn my life to Iosef, but that does not mean I like dancing any less. Is this party not thrown partially in my honor? To celebrate my engagement? This may well be my last waltz as an unmarried woman. I would like to spend it in the arms of a knight of the sky.”

Iosef frowned, but said nothing. Toma, after a moment, nodded.

“Daughters,” Miller heard him say as Analyia quickly pulled him away. “There is no denying them of their baubles.”

It suddenly occurred to him that they were on the dance floor. Around them other couples stepped in perfect synchronicity. When was the last time he had danced? Oh no, he thought.

“Relax,” Analyia whispered. “Just follow me and listen to what I say. You have danced before, no?”

He winced. “Yes. Not well, though.”

She giggled. “It will be fun.”

“Since it might be my last dance, too, I sure hope so,” he muttered and let her take the lead. It was taking most of his concentration not to step on her toes.

“Everyone is watching us,” she whispered, smiling again. “We have given them all so much to talk about.”

“Uh-huh,” Miller said. Although not particularly interested in anything other than making a fool of himself and surviving the evening, he glanced up and saw that she was correct. More and more eyes were on the pair. Did wealthy people really have so little to talk about?

“Iosef is such a jealous man,” she said. “A fool, too. Perhaps this will give your friend the colonel a chance to get up to his mischief.”

“What?” Miller asked.

“Yes,” she said, not listening to him. “He is already slipping away. He always was good at that.”

“Look, I’ll be honest with you,” Miller said, fighting the urge to look over his shoulder and try and find de Curieux. “I have just a very vague notion of what is going on here. I’m a mechanic, an engineer if I want to sound fancy, not an expert in intrigue. Can someone tell me what we’re doing?”

“Dancing, of course, silly,” she whispered and leaned into him, nuzzling him slightly on the neck. They turned and Miller found himself facing the opposite direction. Sure enough, Iosef was glowering at them from the edge of the dance floor. Toma had faded into conversation with a man wearing a fez near the buffet table and de Curieux was nowhere to be found.

“Now you see,” she said. “Iosef, for all his faults, is quite good at knowing when something is amiss. He learned quickly of your affection for me.”

“I just met you,” Miller said.

“Well, that is not the rumour I heard the wives chattering about yesterday. I am told one look from me stole your breath and turned your heart to fire. I am told you have not spent another moment thinking of anyone else since that day in Moscow. Most of all, I am told the world has grown dim in your eyes in my absence, that even the sun shines less brilliantly.”

Miller shook his head. De Curieux was good at his work.

“Now spin me once and we are finished,” Analyia whispered, still pressed up against his chest. “Hopefully, your accomplice will have returned by then. He is taking his time.”

Miller did as he was told and suddenly, blessedly, the music came to an end. The dance floor erupted into applause as couples split apart. Miller realized his hands were shaking.

“You did your part,” Analyia said. “And quite well. Although, I recommend taking a class or two before your next escapade.”

“Sure. Top of my to-do list,” Miller mumbled as she dragged him off of the dance floor. They had made it only a few steps when Toma appeared.

“Did you enjoy waltzing with my daughter?” he asked wickedly. “You must have. You have completely misplaced your charge.”

“My charge? Oh, I am sure …” Miller looked around desperately. Where was de Curieux?

“A slippery one, that colonel,” said Iosef. “I did not know that his skills included pickpocketing. I truly hope that he was not foolish enough to be behind the very coincidental disappearance of mine and Mr. Zlatkov’s mobile devices.”

“Very coincidental,” Toma echoed.

He made a snapping gesture with his right hand and a very well-dressed, very-heavily armed man appeared. Guards? There were guards? Miller thought. Of course, there were. Why hadn’t he noticed them before? Because he wasn’t an international spy or a thief or a saboteur, that’s why. He was a damn motorhead.

“Put out the word that Colonel de Curieux has gone missing and is feared dead. A bit much to drink, perhaps. Leaned too far out one of the openings for a glimpse of the moon. It is a long ways down,” Toma said.

The guard grunted and spoke into a small microphone. He turned on his heels and began working his way through the crowd. Around the room other similarly built and armed men, their sides bulging with half-hidden handguns, sprung into motion.

“As for you,” Toma said, fixing his gaze again on Miller.

“A duel,” Miller interrupted, weakly.

Toma squinted. “What did you say?”

“A duel,” Miller said, drawing a deep breath and this time shouting it. The background chatter cut off as sharply as if someone had pulled the plug on a stereo system. The guards froze in place as all attention focused on the quartet.

He pointed directly at Iosef. “A duel for Analyia’s favor. You know of my love for her. I would die before losing her to you. A duel for her hand in marriage. I challenge you to a duel.”

Silence hung between them. Miller realized he felt very sick. He hadn’t just said all of that, had he? He had. He shouted it, even. Oh no.

Then Toma and Iosef burst out laughing. What was left of Miller’s quick flash of bravado dissipated. This wasn’t going to end well. If he lived, de Curieux owed him a rather large favor.

“A duel, a duel,” Iosef said, wiping his brow. “Of all things, a duel. Yes, yes, this will be most fun. I have never defeated a hussar in armed combat. It sounds so Edwardian London or Hapsburg Vienna.”

Oh no, oh no, oh no, Miller thought.

“A saber,” Iosef called out. “Any blade will do, but can someone loan a saber?”

An elderly man dressed in a khaki uniform stepped forward and bowed. He unsheathed the saber at his side and presented it hilt forward to Iosef.

“May you regain your woman’s honor,” he said.

Miller uttered a few curse words. Of course, a party like this would include a foreign legionnaire. His hand went to his saber and he pulled the oiled blade free without fanfare. As the crowd formed a semi-circle around the men, he adopted a fighting stance with his feet spread about a meter apart.

“The good thing about killing a pirate,” Iosef said, examining the weight of his blade, “is that no one much cares.”

Then he struck with the swiftness of a tornado, his saber slashing inches from Miller’s face. The mechanic-turned-hussar-turned-duelist parried, and then parried again. The force of Iosef’s blows stunned him. The gaunt man was apparently full of strength.

Carefully, Miller retreated, moving with his back foot first. The attack--more vicious than anything in a fencing tournament--continued ceaselessly. Parry, parry, block, Miller looked for any chance at a riposte, but none appeared.

Iosef bore in and finally drove home. The blade stuck Miller shallowly just beneath the shoulder. He howled in pain and frustration, but kept the grip on his saber and spun sideways. Rather than return the flurry of blows, he swung for Iosef’s legs. Though he missed, it forced the other man back and gave Miller a chance to catch his breath. And notice he was bleeding quite profusely.

He awkwardly attempted to stop the flow of blood with his free hand until Iosef started in again. This time, the Russian attacked at Miller’s torso before flicking his blade up and carving a red line across his face. Miller yelped again and tried to sidestep, but Iosef gracefully anticipated the move and stuck him in the thigh.

The wound brought Miller to his knees. Placing a hand on the ground for support, he could only look up as Iosef loomed overhead.

“Don’t fret,” he said, switching the saber back from hand to hand. “I’ll make it quick.”

Miller sighed and lowered his head. There was no way out.

Iosef raised the saber above his head at an angle befitting a cavalry officer charging into a platoon of riflemen. There it hung for a second before the Russian started his downward swing, which came to an arresting halt as de Curieux’s hand shot out of the crowd.

Miller stared in disbelief as the military attache appeared out of thin air behind Iosef.

“You have defeated your opponent in the field of honor and won your woman’s hand in marriage,” de Curieux tutted. “Is not an offer of clemency fitting? Mercy is the trait of the truly refined gentleman.”

He looked down at Miller.

“Do get up,” he said. “I believe we may have overstayed our welcome. It is time for us to show ourselves out.”

Shaking off disbelief--de Curieux’s opportune arrival surprised all of them equally--Toma waved over one of the bullheaded and muscle-bound guards.

“No, no, not at all,” he said. “An extended stay is in order.”

“A most generous offer, but we really must be back aboard The Renegade,” de Curieux insisted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small hypodermic needle. He tapped it against Iosef’s neck.

“And I am sorry, but I must insist you escort us to the window,” he said.

“A needle? You threaten me with a needle?” Iosef asked.

“No, well, yes, but not truly,” de Curieux said. “Batrachotixin is a very simple, very elegant killer. I always keep a bit on me in the event of unpleasantness. More lethal than a gun and less likely to go off half-cocked.”

Miller reached his feet, groaning in pain and wobbled a bit. His hussar uniform was soaked a deep shade of scarlet on the front from his shoulder wound. Gingerly, he tested his leg. It would bear weight, not much, but it worked.

“Come, Lieutenant, time is short,” de Curieux called, slowly backing away with Iosef in tow. The needle gleamed threateningly in the artificial light of the dance hall.

Miller struggled to keep up as partygoers parted to make way for the trio. Pain shot up his leg with every step.

“What are we doing?” he whispered hoarsely as they approached one of the windows carved through the limestone walls.

“You know how to swim, correct?” de Curieux replied.

“Yes, but what does that matter … oh no,” Miller said.

“Exactly.”

“This is insane, you know that right,” Miller squeaked as they gathered around the edge of the wall. “This is like out of an action movie. A bad action movie.”

They were close enough now to windows to hear the ocean rolling against the cliffs framing Xlendi Bay below. The guards, once immobile, had begun to close in against them.

“You won’t survive the jump,” Iosef said. “Even if you, do this whole adventure will have been for naught. I do not have to know what mischief you were up to, de Curieux, to know that you are leaving empty handed. And your young friend succeeded in only making a fool of himself in front of my soon to be wife.”

“He’s right,” Miller whispered. “How are we supposed to help Analyia escape now?”

De Curieux shushed him, his eyes flicking back and forth between the ever closer guards. With each step they took, the pushed the needle a little closer to Iosef’s neck.

“You first,” he said.

“I don’t like heights,” Miller said, glancing out the window.

“You’re an air hussar,” de Curieux replied. “You first.”

“I really, really don’t like heights,” Miller said easing himself onto the sill. Salt-tinged wind whipped by him, sending a small avalanche of pebbles down the long drop into the water below. How far was it? More than a hundred feet, at least.

“Hurry, please,” de Curieux called. “Toes first, pointed down; knees locked, arms straight and keep your head up. I need you to be able to swim afterward.”

“How do you know that?”

De Curieux answered with a hard shove. For a second of pure terror, Miller tumbled into nothingness. The wind tore at his uniform as he spun uncontrollably toward the blackness. Only a millisecond before did he remember to try and get into position and then the water swallowed him.

He emerged a few seconds later, coughing and retching, kicking his legs furiously despite the pain. De Curieux popped up beside him, considerably more calm. Above, a few guns roared, but the wind snatched away the echo of the blasts.

“What … what now,” Miller asked.

“Oh good, I knew you would make the fall,” de Curieux said. “Now we swim.”

Miller stared at the imposing cliff faces.

“Where to?”

“That cluster of yachts, of course,” de Curieux said. “The large one in the middle. You can make it with that bad leg, I trust?”

“I think so,” Miller said.

He let de Curieux take the lead and struggled along after him. A long few minutes later, the other man was helping him aboard the largest of the dark yachts. He flopped onto the main deck and laid still for a moment, just staring at wonder at the night sky. De Curieux disappeared and a little while later Miller felt the engines vibrating with life beneath him. That the military attache knew how to start the yacht was a surprise that no longer shocked him.

Slowly, he picked himself up. Using a torn swatch of hussar uniform, he bandaged what he could of his leg. The wound below his shoulder had seemingly stopped bleeding. As the yacht slipped into motion, Miller limped up to the bridge deck where he found de Curieux humming Bach while scanning the radar.

“All patched up?”

“Sure,” Miller said, shaking his head. “They’re not going to chase us?”

“Maybe,” de Curieux said. “I doubt it. I expect they thought the fall would kill us and if not we would drown in the Mediterranean. Even if we survived all that, Zlatkov and Blok won’t waste much effort in trying to kill us. They won after all.”

“What a waste,” Miller sighed, glancing at his wounded leg and thinking about Analyia. The poor woman undoubtedly was cursed to a wretched life now.

“Not at all, my friend,” de Curieux said.

“You just said it, though. They won.”

“They won their game,” he replied. “They welcomed two crew of the notorious pirate dirigible The Renegade, foiled their plot--saving Analyia and other various high crimes--and potentially killed two pirates. A wonderful diversion.”

“Their game? What the hell were we doing?”

“Chess to their checkers,” de Curieux said.

Miller just stared at him.

“We won a much bigger prize,” de Curieux said.

“All we have is this yacht and probably more than a few stitches. Maybe a scar,” Miller said as the ship passed out of the bay and into the Mediterranean. Behind them, Gozo and the Maltese archipelago gleamed with lights and fireworks.

“Yes, the Demoiselle is a fine catch,” de Curieux said. “Captain XO has had her eye on her for a long time. He was fairly upset when Toma outbid him for her all those years ago. He’s considered her his damsel in distress ever since.”

“The ship, the Demoiselle,” Miller said. “This ship is the damsel in distress.”

“Fitting,” de Curieux said. “I take it you failed to catch her name as we boarded.”

“But Analyia?”

“I took care of that while you were stealing the show on the dance floor. Analyia, while technically a very wealthy heiress, has almost no access to her family money. Her father has most of it hidden away in bank accounts or tied up in various estates and trusts,” de Curieux said. “It’s not hard to track these things down if you know what you’re looking for, but getting around the security protocols can be vexing.”

Miller glanced back at the islands. He thought he could still spot the lights from the party up in the cliffs.

“After perusing Zlatkov and Blok’s mobile devices, I had enough information to liquidate the majority of their hard assets and transfer them to a new, very much secure account in Switzerland. When banks open tomorrow, Analyia will have more than enough to make her own way in the world.”

“She wasn’t the damsel in distress.”

“Not at all, Miller,” de Curieux said. “She is quite capable of handling herself. I doubt she has ever known distress.”

Miller collapsed into one of the captain’s chairs and leaned back. He realized it was the first time he had sat since the car ride to the soiree. It would have felt nice if his body did not ache so much. As he silently pondered, de Curieux flipped on the radio.

“Malta party, here. We are ready to rendezvous with The Renegade. We have the Demoiselle. She is in safe hands.”

“Copy. Bravo Zulu.”

De Curieux flipped off the radio and resumed humming.

“All we had to do was get off with the ship?” Miller asked. “That was it?”

“Technically, those were my orders,” de Curieux said. “Doing a favor for an old friend was a pleasant addition. You will find I regularly exceed my orders.”

“But why? And why did it have to be so painful?”

De Curieux smiled as the illuminated outline of The Renegade rose over the dark horizon.

“It wouldn’t have been fun otherwise.”